Alternate Ending

By Metstradamus
Posted Friday, June 20, 2008

Slow week, eh?

Well I don't know about you, but I'm worn out. And if I'm worn out, I can't imagine how many in the Mets organization feel worn out by the recently ended "Willie Watch".

The Mets tried to end it with a David Chase style black screen, as in the closed eyes of the New York media ... asleep at 3:12 in the morning eastern when news of the hammer falling came via organizational e-mail. And I can't help but wonder: where's my e-mail? I know I'm not in the inner circle, but shouldn't I have received a Flushing Flash or something? I haven't gotten an e-mail in days. The media should at least be thankful they got something. I'm still waiting.

The only thing that could have been worse than the media receiving an e-mail at 3:12 in the morning would have been if Willie was fired via e-mail. Perhaps Willie got fired via a "Flushing Flash" newsletter. Maybe it went something like the one we got after the collapse of '07:

Dear Mets manager:

All of us at the Mets are bitterly disappointed in failing to achieve our collective goal of escaping last year's disaster. You did not meet our organization's expectations. Everyone at Shea feels the same range of emotions as you -- as evidenced by their booing every time you make a pitching change -- and Omar, as a general manager, knows he has let you down. We want to thank you for the job you've done over the last four years.

Equally important, ownership will continue its commitment in providing the resources necessary to field a championship team. Unfortunately, the fruits of that labor will not include you. Omar has met with ownership to address your shortcomings so that we can achieve our goal of winning championships in 2008 and beyond.

You deserve better than this. However, you're fired.

Many thanks again for your support.

That e-mail that due Rick Peterson would have been interesting:

Dear Mets pitching coach,

Life is like a house. Since 2003, you've been the flooring of our house. However at this time, our pitching staff is scuffing up the floor with their shoes. As I'm sure you could attest to, it's much easier to replace a whole floor than it is to have pitchers change shoes. So we're bringing in the Tuscany tile, and replacing our hardwood floor.

Walking is tough, but tuscany will make it easier. So we're asking you to walk away. Please do so with the knowledge that ice cream is better without ketchup, and it's even better when you don't spill it on the tuscany tile.

I'm sure you understand. Thank you for your support.

And then there's Tom Nieto:

Dear Mets first base coach,

We're not sure what you do. But we're reasonably sure it's your fault. So your final paycheck will be mailed to you.

Many thanks for your support ... or whatever it is you did.

I guess as bad as it was, it could have been worse.

***

Metstradamus is still waiting for Omar to knock on the door at 3:12 in the morning to fire him. Until them, he'll keep plugging away on his blog writing imaginary e-mails to himself about tuscany tile and hardwood floors.