Creating Olliestein

By Jaap Stijl
Posted Tuesday, May 5, 2009

"A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin."
H. L. Mencken

It comes as little surprise to some, the Unravelling of Oliver Perez.

For some the ingredients were always there; the frustrating lack of consistency, the fluctuating focus and more importantly, the delicacy of his mechanics which inevitably led to variations in his velocity and thus, his effectiveness.

As long ago as 2002 back when he struck out alot of batters but struggled with control issues for the Padres before being traded to the Pirates, they were gushing about his potential. And as recently as 2007, winning 15 games for the Mets, it appeared Oliver Perez was tantalisingly near the promise that had eluded him for so long.

But for others, more importantly those who make the personnel decisions for the Mets and who sign, set and serve the pay checks for those players, based upon that potential, that left arm, that record against the Phillies and Braves when pitching for the Mets the last few seasons, a recent marriage as a sign of "maturity"(?!) and more importantly, because the Braves outbid the Mets for the services of the prime lefty on the market, Derek Lowe, Omar Minaya re-signed Ollie, warts and all on the flimsy wet cardboard hope that magically and mysteriously, Ollie would, with a secure 3 year deal, suddenly rescue his potential.

No one truly knows what's wrong with Ollie these days.

We can speculate about the crazy Spring he had with Team Mexico. We can speculate about his showing up out of shape yet again. We can try to get inside his head, we can have the pitching coach study the Tau and the Quantum Physics of Oliver Perez like an expensive science experiment but the deeper reality is that his absence in the Mets rotation is a deep wound.

Moan at will about the tragic logic of signing him to to a three year deal when no one else ever really wanted him but the reality remains he was signed as the Mets Number Three pitcher and instead of even making the rotation Ollie has now pitched his way into an anonymous role in the bullpen simply because the Mets can't think of anything better to do with him.

You really must wonder about the prospects and indeed the depth of a team that is bringing up a 40-year-old rookie in the form of Ken Tagahashi, a guy who was barely even average pitching for the Hiroshima Toyo Carp for the last 14 years, a guy who will not be able to throw more than five innings if that, in an outing, and hoping he's the magical elixir for the rotation.

Is Ken Tagahashi a band aid or a white flag of surrender?

This is who replaces your $36 million baby, whose pitching career in a mediocre league has been itself mediocre at best?

As no one truly knows what ails Ollie these days, more importantly not even Ollie himself, what is a stint in the bullpen going to do that a kick hard enough to send him tumbling to Buffalo wouldn't do?

Will further scientific study of his mechanics, his lack of psychological make-up, his unfocused brain provide answers in time for him to rejoin the Mets this season?

It must be. Unless the Mets are willing to part with some of these debatable prospects they have for another arm before the trading deadline, pitching coach Dan Warthen is going to have to perform miracles not written about since Mary Shelley.

And perhaps like Dr. Frankenstein, through ambiguous methods of science and alchemy, Warthen can rebuild Oliver Perez from the dead life that is his career and after this brief period of wandering through the metaphorical wilderness seeking someone who will shelter and understand him, Olliestein will appear not as the vilified monster of now but as gentle, sensible and emotional creature in control of his mechanics and his destiny.