More "Shut Up!"

By Deb McIver
Posted Friday, December 14, 2007

Well, hi there, dear readers!

Some of us may remember my two-part “series” of about a month or so ago, where I listed and discussed my thoughts on people in baseball who really, for their own sakes as well as ours, ought to just zip the yap, already.

So I thought to myself, let’s expand the list a little bit to include those outside baseball who ought to seriously think about putting a sock in it.

Without further ado, fanfare, or introduction, here they are, in no particular order:

1. Rosie O’Donnell. Do I even need to explain this one? Just the sight of her literally makes me want to grab the clicker quickly, before it melts, or something much worse, and get her off of my cloud! She has views on everything, is shy about expressing none of them, insults everyone and anyone, and whether or not she does it simply for publicity or because she just can’t keep her big mouth shut, it’s equally revolting.

I just want to punch her, I really do.

I did rather enjoy her little “tiff” with The Donald, however. You know, where she pouted her lips and did her version of the “comb over” a la Donald. The Donald would be on this list, as well, except for the fact that I’m oddly ambivalent to,.and maybe even a little fond of, him.

2. Al Sharpton. If he ever had any credibility, he surely doesn’t now, at least, not with most people. Sometimes, when he drones on about issue after issue, real or imagined, I’d like to interject two words – Tawanna Brawley. I’m not sure Rev. Al ever takes the time to truly investigate and discern whether something is a true issue for his fellow black citizens or not. He simply seems to latch on to anything that will further Al Sharpton’s agenda, all too often making a mockery of his race, racial relations, and himself. Which is a shame, really, because there are some truly real and significant issues regarding racial relations that could and should be addressed and discussed. But does he approach this in any meaningful way? Nope! Instead, he espouses and regurgitates his usual predictable, typical ho-hum drivel brand of black v. white inflammatory rhetoric, serving little or no purpose than to further whatever Al’s secret agenda might be.

So, you might say, Al is a spokesman for Al. He should be ashamed to purport to be a spokesperson for his race; he's more of a fringer, a rabble-rousing egotist jumping on the issue du jour, a shallow exploitationist of his own race.

He’s a prime example of what it is to use – and to be used.

It's so funny -- I wrote this piece on December 12, and on December 13, I logged onto my AOL account, and what did I see on the home page? Apparently, the Feds are investigating him, and have subpoenaed his financial records in connection with his 2004 Presidential campaign.

I have to say, I'm not surprised; I'm really not. As I've said above, Al cares about Al, plain and simple. Nothing fancy, there, just plain old fashioned greed and power grabbing.

3. Pat Robertson. How do I count the ways? I should have saved this guy for last, honestly. Let’s see, from claiming to be a faith healer in the 1970s and 1980s, to attacking many Protestant denominations, notably, Episcopalian, Presbyterian and Methodist, by saying things like “… I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist,” to describing feminism as “a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

If only he had included “encourages women to hate Pat Robertson” in that statement, he might have been onto something.

He later agreed with Jerry Falwell (who’d be on the list, too, but he’s dead, so it’s therefore moot) that the September 11, 2001 attacks were caused by "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the ACLU…,” denounced, of all things, Orlando Florida AND Disney World for allowing “Gay Days,” stating that the acceptance of homosexuality could result in hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorist bombings and “possibly a meteor,” publicly supported the former President of Liberia (Charles Taylor), who was indicated by the United Nations for War Crimes (conveniently forgetting to mention his $8 million investment in a Liberian gold mine), attacked the U.S. Government and more particularly, the State Department, suggesting that somebody “place a small nuke at Foggy Bottom,” and of course, uttered his now infamous remarks about Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, which are really too rich not to quote exactly: “I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he [Chavez] thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don’t think any oil shipments will stop.”

Atta boy, Pat, you’re on a roll, don't stop now!!!!

Not wanting to disappoint us, next came his little message to the citizens of Dover, Pennsylvania, who had voted out of office all seven members of the school board who supported the doctrine of intelligent design: "I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city. And don't wonder why he hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for His help because He might not be there."

I don’t know about the rest of you, but it’s quite a revelation and a comfort to me to finally know, for sure, that Pat speaks for God.

Pat’s also said some real doozies concerning the Iraq War, at times claiming that President Bush told him before the war that he expected there to be no casualties, and later that the war was “a righteous cause out of the Bible.”

He’s also claimed that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s stroke was possibly retribution from God, and claimed former prime minister Yitzhak Rabin’s 1995 assassination may have occurred for the same reason.

He’s called Islam a “Christian heresy,” and called Muhammad an “absolute wild-eyed fanatic…a robber and a brigand.” He’s said “….These people are crazed fanatics, and I want to say it now: I believe it’s motivated by demonic power…..”

And if that weren’t enough, he later said that Muslims deal with history and truth with violence.

He’s stated that people who’ve had too much plastic surgery “got the eyes like they’re Oriental,” stretching his eyelids to illustrate his words; called Hinduism “demonic,” and said Hindus should be barred from entering the United States; claimed “liberal professors” were "racists, murderers, sexual deviants and supporters of Al-Qaeda,” further labeling them as "termites that have worked into the woodwork of our academic society.”

Way to go, Pat, way to go. You’ve set the cause of viable evangelical Christianity back, oh, say a couple of thousand years.

From your lips, to God’s ears, Pat….for God’s sake, shut the hell up!

And now, for the Pat piece de resistance.

In addition to all of his other statement and claims, for some bizarre reason only known (or unknown) to Pat, he insists on convincing us that he can leg press thousands of pounds. Like 2,700 pounds.

My only question is – huh? Where did THAT come from, Pat, and why is it so important to you????

4. Tom Cruise. I’m going to get the Brooke Shields Medal of Honor as a reward for my recognition of intolerance, stupidity, and the just plain asinine for this one, lol.

I want to first begin by saying it’s a tremendous shame to have such an idiot ensconced in such a beautiful exterior.

This guy has done everything he possibly can to destroy his considerable matinee-idol status and the public love which comes along with it. He’s vilified psychiatry, claiming he knows sooooooo much more about it than anyone, ever, at any time. An apparent spokesman for Scientology, he’s called psychiatry a “Nazi science,” and has stated that methadone was actually originally called Adolophine after Adolf Hitler, and has claimed that Scientology has the only successful drug rehabilitation program, called Narconon, further saying “It's a statistically proven fact that there is only one successful drug rehabilitation program in the world. Period."

Good to know, Tom, good to know. Let's hope neither you nor a member of your family or circle of friends, if indeed you have any, has to put this to the test.

He’s ridiculed the lovely, Princeton-educated Brooke Shields for her reliance on psychiatry and its related use of drugs in treatment for a very serious post-partum depression condition, something which he knows, literally, NOTHING about…… he’s exhibited bizarre “couch jumping” behavior on several talk shows, most notably Oprah, and he’s fought off rumors of homosexuality almost since he’s become a public figure.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.

What IS wrong, though, is just plain Tom. Shake hands with Pat, Tom. You’re birds of a feather, so flock together.

And finally:

5. George W. Bush. I really hesitated before putting our 43rd president on this list. But I just had to, because honestly, I believe nothing that comes out from between his lips.

He’s the poster boy for the old joke, which goes like this: Q: How can you tell when a politician is lying? A: His lips are moving.

And moving they are, all right. Oh, boy, are they moving. Moving with lies about Iraq, stumbling upon word after word, easy ones, like “nuclear,” which became “nucular;” to his mispronouncing of just about every world leader’s name, assuming, of course, he even KNOWS most of their names, to the world-famous Bushisms, a couple of which I’ve included below:

“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." I kid you not; this is REAL.

And one of my particular favorites, illustrating the art of talking in circles, and making no sense: “Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a -- you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities."

And a truly head-scratching one, which about sums up the whole of his Presidency: “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."

You’re so right, George, you’re so right.

If only you KNEW how right!

Possibly the ONLY thing you've been right about in, oh, your entire life!

But hey, George, you can always blame it all on your drinking. Speaking of which, I've got an idea -- why not talk to Tom Cruise about whether Scientology has a successful program for the treatment of alcoholism? You know, the ONLY successful one? Period? Here, I'll give you his number - 1-800-AHOLE!