Five Bitter Little Pills To Swallow

By Jaap Stijl
Posted Wednesday, June 24, 2009

“Everybody's a mad scientist, and life is their lab. We're all trying to experiment to find a way to live, to solve problems, to fend off madness and chaos.”
-- David Cronenberg, filmmaker

It's getting difficult to think about solutions to these 2009 Mets.

The front office continues to preach patience and instead of realistic options, feeds us delusions like Carlos Delgado making a miraculous return from hip surgery that even a much younger and fitter A-Rod could not handle and trying to get us to believe in Ollie, the Redemption Song saving our bullpen.

And now Carlos Beltran is gone, leaving Fmart to hold his coat. With Beltran you can't be looking for a replacement, just praying to the DL Gods that this isn't one of those mystery injuries like Reyes' that takes forever to heel. You'll be hoping that by the All Star break, his bone bruise is healed and he's a new man for it. In the interim, expect a further watered-down batting order bunting its way to victory every night.

We're delving into the absurd and in honour of that, here is my solution, as rational as believing Delgado will miraculously return to save us all and Ollie is suddenly going to solve the pen woes:

1. Neither Pelfrey nor Maine are any good after four innings so rather than continuing to tax the bullpen with their mini-outings, combine the two of them in one outing. That's 8 quality innings leading right up to K-Rod on a good night. You could argue that this reduces the rotation but the Mets are already moving along without Maine so realistically, this is no sacrifice. It costs a bullpen spot on the roster but there are at least two guys right now (and three, if you count Parnell) who already taking up excessive space with no real value. The rest of the rotation is still Santana, Livan, Nieve (which is no more absurd than counting on Ollie) and Redding(his ERA is just under 4.00 over his last 3 starts excluding last night's brilliance which came after I drafted this, so perhaps he's regaining some footing if he relapses into the Nattish Redding, perhaps the Mets could turn to some of the usual farm system fodder Omar has cultivated like, Casey Fossum - for a spare start or two. And keep an eye on Niese - he wasn't ready earlier this season but he's beginning to look like he's turning it around in his last three starts (1.12 ERA, 19 Ks, 5 walks in 20.1 innings).

2. Drop Takahashi and Switzer and give Parnell some rest in Buffalo. Call up Tim McNab (0.79 ERA over last 10 appearances) from Buffalo and Edgar Alfonso, a lefty from Binghamton (0.64 ERA over last 10 appearances) to replace them. And keep the bullpen fluid - when someone starts to drop from Jerry's overuse/abuse, let them go back down to the minors and call someone else who is pitching well, don't fall asleep at the wheel and let a bad situation fester like they are currently doing which overtaxes what few good arms are left in the pen. I see Omar's opted for Dessens and Misch for the time being but trust me, these two will be back down in Buffalo as quickly and as inexplicably as they got here.

3. The Mets batting order has been weakened by Delgado's surgery and that weakness is compounded by David Wright's power outage. They need someone with some pop in the lineup, even if he's not an every day player. Neither Evans nor Reed is a power alternative to platoon with Sheffield. Reed in particular, is dead weight and has no future with the Mets unless that's helping Fmart hold Beltran's hat until the All Star break. Evans' ceiling as a hitter is low. You don't need to trade for Goliath, you just need a serviceable left fielder who can spell Sheff when needed. Someone in the Luke Scott mold who won't dazzle, but can hit with a little power and won't cost half of what is already a thoroughly depleted farm system. He's only a mediocre fielder at best but after watching some of the fielding Laurel and Hardy skits out there this season, he'd be hard-pressed to do worse.

4. Stick with Murph. He's a natural hitter, that's all we've heard since he's come up and if that is in fact the case, then let him continue to work his way out of his slump while he continues his fast improvement as a fielding first baseman. If Delgado does return, great, but if not, Murph will likely grow into this spot to become the Mets first choice at first base over the course of the season.

5. They need some blood-letting. A symbolic gesture, however futile, that someone has to pay. Let that someone be Razor Shines who has at times this season been about as bad a third base coach as a third base coach can be. It won't be hard to find a better replacement.

These five bitter little pills won't cure the Mets of all that ails them, only time and recovery from injuries will do that. But sitting around wishing you had Reyes and Delgado, hallucinating that Oliver Perez is the answer to your pitching woes, well, that's just wasteful, wishful thinking, something Omar is great at when he doesn't have millions of dollars to throw at a free agent.