SHAFOT!

By Tom "Mr Star" Starita
Posted Thursday, September 13, 2007

Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na
Hey Hey Hey
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODBYE!

Dear Atlanta

Thanks for playing the 2007 season. It was a valiant effort and maybe if you had gotten up for the other one hundred and forty four games like you did for the eighteen against the Mets things would be different right now.

But you didn’t.

And that’s why you are ten games out in the loss column.

See you in 2008

Love

Tom Starita

Before I finish talking about Atlanta for the final time this season I HAVE to talk about two quotes. The first comes from your favorite Brave and mine, Larry Jones:

The first pitch to me with the bases loaded was in my batter’s box, inside. Now you tell me how I’m supposed to hit that. We have to get Questec here in this ballpark. We’ve got to. Umpires have got to be held accountable. That’s Little League World Series stuff right there.

It’s a joke. I’m tired of it. And baseball can fine me whatever they want. I do not care. Somebody’s got to say something. I’ve got more walks than strikeouts in my career - I know what a strike looks like.

You’re going to see frustration from now on as long as the officiating is abysmal. Major League Baseball ought to be ashamed. It’s abysmal. It’s awful. Not all of them but some of them. It’s awful.

I guess when Glavine, Maddux and Smoltz were pitching against the Mets and getting strike calls eight inches off the plate things were hunky dory. But now it’s not fair

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The second quote comes from our good pal Tim Hudson:

“Every time a pitcher gets on base now, I’m gonna pick,” said Hudson, upset that Perez would focus on picking off a fellow pitcher. “Obviously I’m not a very good baserunner. Looking back, I was probably a little too far off the bag. But I’m hardly ever on second base. I don’t know what’s close and what’s far. I guess I know what’s too far now.”

Sorry Tim, I didn’t know we were playing in a backyard with your mom pitching. Maybe we should move the bases up as well.

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Moving on….

Way back when in spring training the following was overheard by a beat reporter:

"Hold on until the cavalry arrives." -- Pedro Martinez, to a teammate.

Pedro Martinez – Hall of Fame pitcher, dancing phenom and now we can add prophet to the resume.

I have been waiting all year to drop that quote in a column.

Everyone in the media and the blogging world has talked about this so I don’t want to sound repetitive, but the difference in attitude and play since Pedro put on a uniform in Atlanta has been night and day. The swagger and the cockiness are back. Maybe these aren’t the 86 Mets where they told you they were going to beat you on the scoreboard and in a fight but the focus and determination are the same. With the magic number down to 11 we can openly talk about how things are going to shake out in October. That said, I give you

Starita’s Helpful Advice For October Thinking

Or

SHAFOT

Which, as everyone knows, is a Hebrew word meaning:

"To put on the fire"

Seeing how the goal of every team in October is to get hot and win the World Series, or “put on the fire”, I believe my words hold a great authority and should be recognized as such. Therefore, here are five tips to help you deal in the weeks ahead. The order is important so don’t skip ahead – much like how you shouldn’t look ahead in October.

1) Do not root for any other team but the Mets!
This is referring to the line of thinking where you think the Phillies are scary so you’ll root for the Padres to win the wild card. Or you root for the Phillies to win the wild card because the Mets have destroyed the National League Central this year. This line of thinking is BAD!

BAD!

Twice in my lifetime, and almost certainly yours, we were matched up with a blatantly weaker opponent only to see that opponent break our hearts in Game 7. The correct line of thinking is to believe that the Mets are the class of the National League and whoever we play we should beat. To root for someone else is to only cause your own demise.

2) Watch the game!
This is referring to those fans who amazingly LEAVE Shea Stadium in the 8th inning because “I’ve got work in the morning and this game is over”. This also applies to people watching on television at a bar who get distracted as the game goes on because “This game is over and that girl is really hot”. Playoff baseball means no game is over until the twenty seventh out is recorded, especially with this bullpen. Do not act like anything is a given, just watch the game and pray.

3) Our Bullpen is going to give you a heart attack!
This is just so no one can say they didn’t see it coming. I’m not saying Sosa, Feliciano, Heilman and Wagner can’t be shutdown relievers, I’m saying odds are there WILL be late inning drama involving at least one of the four. If a God Forbid situation happens do NOT lose faith. Get angry, curse, throw something – do whatever you need to do but do NOT shut the television off or think the game is over.

*For the record, the only time I want to see Bill Mota on my television is when they pan the dugout and see him sitting on the pine. If he goes anywhere near right field I beg, plead IMPLORE Christine Glavine to finally take her revenge!*

4) This team is money!
Never forget that. This team is the class of the National League and can stand toe to toe with any American League team as well. The bitter taste of 2006 will be in their mouths, and if they don’t remember the media, the internet, the fans and Willie will make sure to remind them at least one time. The differences between this year and last are the experience of Reyes/Wright, Beltran is healthy (knocking on wood and lighting candles), the defense is tight, the bench is outstanding (the next jersey I buy is a #23 Marlon jersey - I love him in the most manly, non sexual way possible) and the starting rotation is much much better – meaning PEDRO. There isn’t a team in baseball that can match Duque Glavine Pedro and either Maine or Perez. Of course there is the bullpen but we talked about that already.

And finally….

5) Wear a jacket!
Because God knows Shea Stadium is an extremely cold place come late October
 

Tom figured since everyone would be writing playoff columns he would get a jump on the competition. If the above inspired you to make t-shirts with the phrase SHAFOT on the front and the five tips on the back please clue me in and lets make some money. If you aren’t an entrepreneur and just want to chime in with your two cents either hit up MrStarita@yahoo.com or….as always….