The Perils of Sports Nationhood

By Ken Dynamo
Posted Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I don't want to advocate looking past the so-far mediocre-to-miserable 2008 just yet, but lets pretend for the moment that the current season has go quite differently.

Let's pretend Ryan Church and Marlon Anderson's avoided their spring training headbutt and that Moises Alou and Pedro Martinez both took their Geritol and we avoided all the other injuries that dogged the team to start the season. Now that we're standing firmly on terra fantasia, lets also pretend Pelfrey achieves the potential and Delgado preforms like we all hoped.

Let's also say that Willie keeps everyone from 'trippin' and Omar regains our trust with some trade deadline miracles. The Mets are now steam rolling their way to an NL pennant. Then dramatically and memorably, they win the World Series, finally exorcising the demons from last year's collapse.

Lets keep the these fantasy vibes going and assume the off season expectations are though the roof, and the Mets' fan base is whipped into a frenzy unlike anything ever seen before. The ramifications of this are immense (theoretically). Now Citi Field's inaugural season is completely sold out. Mets games are the hottest tickets in town. Soon road games, especially to Philadelphia and Washington, become pilgrimages attracted tens of thousands of Blue and Orange supporters. Games now seem like battles between whole cities and their respective cultures.

As the Mets continue winning ways, the bulging new fan base organizes. Websites espousing loyalty to the recently founded 'Mets Nation' abound. Fealty to 'the Nation' becomes a pre-requisite to any 'real' Met fan. The team's supporters are galvanized across the country and rally around the cause. Mets Nation is not satisfied until the rest of the MLB pay tribute under the heel of the oppressive suzerainty.

This is where the fantasy derails for me and becomes a type of nightmare. League domination is something I dream about for the Mets, but I can think of nothing worse than the formation of a Mets Nation.

They may seem no more natural a fit then the mixing of Nationalism and Sports, however I patently reject the notion that rooting interests must be inherently jingoistic. Here, as elsewhere, I am aligned with Samuel Johnson in his opinion that, 'patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.'

Then how should Mets an passionately aquit themselves without falling into the trappings of 'Nationhood'? The only way I can think of is to just not be idiots.

For example, a couple of weekends ago I was in Baltimore to watch a Red Sox-Orioles game (the one where Manny hit his 500th HR). We had glorious weather at one of the premiere ballparks in baseball and an historically significant game to boot. I couldn't care less about either the Sox or the O's, but nonetheless, sounds like a recipe for great time right? Wrong again. Everything was ruined by the insufferableness of Red Sox Nation.

So whats the big deal about Red Sox fans supporting their team? Well, nothing, as long as your not a big stupid idiot about it. And unfortunately for the select few 'good' Sox fans, most of 'The Nation' are big fat stupid idiots.

An example of gross stupidity: at one point in the game the O's were leading 2-0, until some Red Sox guy (some Red Sock?) hit a solo home run, making it 2-1. This was in about the third inning. As a joke, me and my friends started chanting "SCOOOOOORE-BOOOOOARD". We didn't care about the game but if there's one thing I love, it's ironic chants at a ball game. It also genuinely pissed off some of the Red Sox fans near us as an added bonus. An inning later or so, another Red Sox solo home run and the score is now tied. So what did the idiot Red Sox fans do? Throw the 'score-board' chant back in our faces. This is so dumb it defies comprehension. The score is tied, so the chant can be used neither seriously nor in irony.

And if that wasn't enough, one particularly idiotic (and soused) group of Sox fans decided to lead "BEAT L. A." chants whenever possible, on account of the Celtics playing the Lakers in the NBA Finals. At a baseball game. Unbelievable.

These enraged Red Sox fans were so swept up in their nationhood that they could not discern the proper time or way to cheer. do the detriment of the rest of the spectators.

I won't be so arrogant as to assume that I able to prescribe just how every Met fan should cheer, (I know, too late) but I think I have a pretty good idea want we don't want to do.

By the way, if you ever find yourself surrounded by a bunch of Nationers chanting 'Beat L.A.', the best way to diffuse the situation is the hijack their chant into a good old fasioned 'U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!' It's crude, but if it shuts up idiotic Red Sox fans, it just may be the best thing nationalism ever accomplished.